Who doesn’t love Zombies ey? A likely statement made in a pitch to produce ’Killing Floor’ and essentially it’s correct, the mass public tends to have an overwhelming appetite for zombie (or do we called them “infected” nowadays? ) based media which shows no signs of slowing down, especially in the video game market.
So the premise is there, Left 4 Dead was hugely successful so who wouldn’t want a piece of that pie? But that’s the biggest problem with Killing Floor; it’s trying so hard to replicate a successful formula that it fails to gain any real identity of its own. The only area Killing Floor really flourishes is in showing us how fantastic Left 4 Dead really is!
I’m sure on paper Killing Floor reads like a riot, it has some ideas and hints of originality that it wanted to achieve but is simply let down by its delivery, for example; ’Zedtime’ in principle is a great idea, time slows down mid attack to truly regale in the violent destruction of the unfortunate zombie, and it works...sometimes. The problem being that you don’t actually trigger it! It’s just kicks in completely at random (or if there was a trigger point I sure as hell wasn’t seeing it) so sometimes it’s perfectly timed to enhance your violent decapitation of the nearest undead, other times it kicks in when your turning round to try and see the zombies behind you, not really ideal.
Another neat idea is the welding gun, during waves of Zombies you can back yourself into a bottle neck style situation and in true ’Aliens’ fashion weld the door shut, although this is more of a tactics treat and less of a visual one.
So something I’ve failed to mention so far is the single player and there is a perfectly good reason for that, it’s pretty much none existent! Sure you can play it on your own but you’re simply recreating the online multiplayer environment with you on your lonesome, words of advice, DO NOT buy this game unless you plan on playing it online.
While we’re rolling out the flaws (or ’floors’ if you love a good pun!) the presentation is nothing short of hideous, the menus lack any kind of simplicity and are extremely over cumbersome, not that they’re not manageable but it’s in dire need of streamlining, the graphics also lack any real quality although they’re nowhere near as bad as the menu screens might imply.
So in closing; the story feels useless and irrelevant, the dialogue and aesthetic are embarrassing and the single player mode is redundant, but do you know what? There are far worse shooters out there and if you want some quick and easy yet strangely satisfying zombie destruction then you could do far worse, just don’t expect a revolution.
2/5
Monday, 24 August 2009
Friday, 21 August 2009
Poker Simulator - Iceberg Interactive
Fancy a game of Minesweeper? How about Solitaire or perhaps Freecell? Imagine if I told you you’d have to pay £8.95 for the privilege and also an inferior version? Doesn’t sound like deal of the century does it? So why should people ever consider buying Poker Simulator? The answer is, they shouldn’t.
Before I even stuck the game in my first thought was “can’t you already play this FOR FREE on Facebook?” and then it went a little deeper, there are literally dozens of websites dedicated to online server based poker, and the majority deal in the real tangible that makes poker fun, money.
Despite my early cynicism I was more than willing to give poker simulator a chance after all, not everyone is interested in playing for money. Unfortunately what I discovered is that not only does this game lack any real thrill of the gamble, it also lacks everything that makes all other poker clients playable.
The positives, the game runs perfectly fine, no frame rate issues and / or noticeable bugs, and the fact that my PC is quite average shows capable programming tailored to the likely audience. The AI (Artifical Intelligence) however, shows the complete opposite. Not once did I notice the AI bluff, you could always guarantee that if the Computer was playing a hand; he had something worth playing, which in turn saps any sort of thrill one might have in the competition; not to mention, the rival opponents are literally complete pushovers, you can and I did bully your way through a game with ease, clearly the AI thinks you’re as dumb as he is!
One step up a retail game should have over the free games is it’s graphically engine, and if this was still 2002 then these character models and textures would have been acceptable, they hardly do a lot in poker either, but most of the males look like extras from a wrestling game, all ripped to shreds with enormous shoulders, my guy was wearing a hat and when I say wearing, I mean it might as well been floating above his head.
I was having no joy playing the computer so I thought I’d try out it’s online mode and play real opponents, the games been out around a month or so, the servers should be white hot...no one, not a single soul, perhaps I caught a bad time or their servers were in maintenance, it’s an excuse, however unlikely it possibly is.
Clearly I’m not a fan, although the game wasn’t completely without merit, the mini games were marginally fun versions of classic games like high or low and pairs, standard affair but they play perfectly fine. The poker school is also perfectly acceptable for beginners but nothing you couldn’t learn from any other source you can think of.
I hate to completely destroy things that clearly people have put effort and time to producing, but I’m also not a liar...do not buy this “game”.
1/5
Before I even stuck the game in my first thought was “can’t you already play this FOR FREE on Facebook?” and then it went a little deeper, there are literally dozens of websites dedicated to online server based poker, and the majority deal in the real tangible that makes poker fun, money.
Despite my early cynicism I was more than willing to give poker simulator a chance after all, not everyone is interested in playing for money. Unfortunately what I discovered is that not only does this game lack any real thrill of the gamble, it also lacks everything that makes all other poker clients playable.
The positives, the game runs perfectly fine, no frame rate issues and / or noticeable bugs, and the fact that my PC is quite average shows capable programming tailored to the likely audience. The AI (Artifical Intelligence) however, shows the complete opposite. Not once did I notice the AI bluff, you could always guarantee that if the Computer was playing a hand; he had something worth playing, which in turn saps any sort of thrill one might have in the competition; not to mention, the rival opponents are literally complete pushovers, you can and I did bully your way through a game with ease, clearly the AI thinks you’re as dumb as he is!
One step up a retail game should have over the free games is it’s graphically engine, and if this was still 2002 then these character models and textures would have been acceptable, they hardly do a lot in poker either, but most of the males look like extras from a wrestling game, all ripped to shreds with enormous shoulders, my guy was wearing a hat and when I say wearing, I mean it might as well been floating above his head.
I was having no joy playing the computer so I thought I’d try out it’s online mode and play real opponents, the games been out around a month or so, the servers should be white hot...no one, not a single soul, perhaps I caught a bad time or their servers were in maintenance, it’s an excuse, however unlikely it possibly is.
Clearly I’m not a fan, although the game wasn’t completely without merit, the mini games were marginally fun versions of classic games like high or low and pairs, standard affair but they play perfectly fine. The poker school is also perfectly acceptable for beginners but nothing you couldn’t learn from any other source you can think of.
I hate to completely destroy things that clearly people have put effort and time to producing, but I’m also not a liar...do not buy this “game”.
1/5
Ash - Return of the White Rabbit (single)
The music business can be tired formula, Physical media is at an all time low, now is the time to evolve or die, Ash clearly have their hearts set on bucking the system and doing things just that little bit different.
So in a nutshell Ash are releasing 26 singles (this is not a typo) under a subscription based download service labelled ’A-Z series’, of which; ’Return of the White Rabbit’ is A. Certainly a brave and bold move, the outlandish nature of such a stunt could pay off in a time where they’re not quite darlings of the media they once were. The other side of the coin however is that this could fall flat on it’s face and 26 singles could have been used in vain, but life is all about risks and taking them, and you have to commend the daring originality.
So as interesting as this concept is I’m supposed to be reviewing the first single, ’Return of the White Rabbit’. Ash have certainly came along way since Girl from Mars and the song shows an obvious maturity to it, the 90’s are over and unlike some bands, Ash have grown with the times. Penned by bassist Mark Hamilton which explains the lack of huge chorus which is usually standard affair with the average Tim Wheeler track, but not every single has to have a huge chorus and then the predictable key change, despite what Simon Cowell might think.
Some interesting ideas have been thrown at the track, subtle touches of synth and electro drums, not to mention the filthy bass effect and steady groove. This is certainly a different Ash and personally, I absolutely love the electro toms mixed into the standard kit, it sounds like it would be abysmal but trust me, it works.
By no means is this Ash’s strongest ever single; far from it, but it’s different in an age where they need to be different. Ash have progressed, matured and evolved into a fresh act who appear all brand new again, and with these original ideas you can really tell that care about changing the systematised routine nature of the industry, I personally hope for Ash that it pays off.
4/5
So in a nutshell Ash are releasing 26 singles (this is not a typo) under a subscription based download service labelled ’A-Z series’, of which; ’Return of the White Rabbit’ is A. Certainly a brave and bold move, the outlandish nature of such a stunt could pay off in a time where they’re not quite darlings of the media they once were. The other side of the coin however is that this could fall flat on it’s face and 26 singles could have been used in vain, but life is all about risks and taking them, and you have to commend the daring originality.
So as interesting as this concept is I’m supposed to be reviewing the first single, ’Return of the White Rabbit’. Ash have certainly came along way since Girl from Mars and the song shows an obvious maturity to it, the 90’s are over and unlike some bands, Ash have grown with the times. Penned by bassist Mark Hamilton which explains the lack of huge chorus which is usually standard affair with the average Tim Wheeler track, but not every single has to have a huge chorus and then the predictable key change, despite what Simon Cowell might think.
Some interesting ideas have been thrown at the track, subtle touches of synth and electro drums, not to mention the filthy bass effect and steady groove. This is certainly a different Ash and personally, I absolutely love the electro toms mixed into the standard kit, it sounds like it would be abysmal but trust me, it works.
By no means is this Ash’s strongest ever single; far from it, but it’s different in an age where they need to be different. Ash have progressed, matured and evolved into a fresh act who appear all brand new again, and with these original ideas you can really tell that care about changing the systematised routine nature of the industry, I personally hope for Ash that it pays off.
4/5
Haunted By Humans - Live @ Godiva Festival '09
On at 1pm to an audience primarily there for bands such as Toploader, rain clouds looming over head and nightmarish problems with a guitar, things certainly didn’t plan out well for Haunted by Humans but perseverance is definitely one of their stronger character traits.
A lot of bands might have buckled under such pressure and scrutiny, a well versed act with plenty of experience, but I hazard a guess this is easily the biggest crowd they have ever played in front of, just when you don’t want this little issue to arise, fate has a funny way of planning things out.
Things didn’t start as great as they might have hoped. The first track failed to garner the full attention of the already fickle crowd and interest was waning; but then Haunted by Humans struck back something fierce with ‘Get Dangerous’, living up to the billing with haunting vocals and a sublime chorus hook, suddenly; everyone’s curiosity was spiked.
The momentum by that point changed distinctly, this wasn’t the sort of festival music you expect to hear at one in the afternoon. The strength and power behind the set was endearing enough to draw the crowd in, the set peaked (although by no means was there a radical drop off after) sometime mid set with a song that the band themselves proclaimed was “brand new” called ‘Killer Waves’, The kind of epic pop song every alternative band could do with to push them over to the next level. No question, this is there mainstream hit.
If I was going to dissect some flaws (and I guess that means I am) then Haunted by Humans lacked a massive amount of variety, at least in the seven or so songs I heard, and their set list layout didn’t seem to work in this crowds favour. Although these are minor niggles in an otherwise sterling performance, and they kept Toploaders crowd perfectly entertaining, I can imagine that’s no mean feat.
4/5
A lot of bands might have buckled under such pressure and scrutiny, a well versed act with plenty of experience, but I hazard a guess this is easily the biggest crowd they have ever played in front of, just when you don’t want this little issue to arise, fate has a funny way of planning things out.
Things didn’t start as great as they might have hoped. The first track failed to garner the full attention of the already fickle crowd and interest was waning; but then Haunted by Humans struck back something fierce with ‘Get Dangerous’, living up to the billing with haunting vocals and a sublime chorus hook, suddenly; everyone’s curiosity was spiked.
The momentum by that point changed distinctly, this wasn’t the sort of festival music you expect to hear at one in the afternoon. The strength and power behind the set was endearing enough to draw the crowd in, the set peaked (although by no means was there a radical drop off after) sometime mid set with a song that the band themselves proclaimed was “brand new” called ‘Killer Waves’, The kind of epic pop song every alternative band could do with to push them over to the next level. No question, this is there mainstream hit.
If I was going to dissect some flaws (and I guess that means I am) then Haunted by Humans lacked a massive amount of variety, at least in the seven or so songs I heard, and their set list layout didn’t seem to work in this crowds favour. Although these are minor niggles in an otherwise sterling performance, and they kept Toploaders crowd perfectly entertaining, I can imagine that’s no mean feat.
4/5
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Killaflaw- Holy Funk (single)
Skipping past the meat of the content, there is no getting past it, Killaflaw certainly sound a lot like The Prodigy, but considering I’m a massive fan I’m more than certain this review is going to bode well.
So yeah, I’m sure they’ve heard it a million times already and they will likely forever get it (unless their music drastically changes any time soon) but it was really unavoidable. Normally something that strikes me as over familiar promotes negative feelings, but not this time, there is just enough of Killaflaw unique finger prints here to create distinction, mainly via Benn Helm’s massively strong and frankly awesome vocal.
So at its root this a down and dirty dance track, touches of drum and bass and sprinkles of most other dance genres, but perhaps it’s biggest merit is the melody perfectly placed on top of the thumping bass, Killaflaw have achieve what a lot of drum and bass acts fail to do and have created a pop song around their dancefloor beat.
So clearly I’m a fan, but that’s not to say there isn’t slight niggles with the track, the production although solid lacks a touch of final polish for my liking, perhaps another pass on the mix is required to make it a touch more radio friendly (it’s certainly club friendly right now!). The sub bass also lacks the complete punch and more could be made of its assets but like I said, these are only minor niggles on a product that produces a fantastic vibe.
The time is now for Killaflaw, they sound relevant and with the resurgence of The Prodigy and rise of Pendulum they should certainly strike now and strike fast and with tracks like Holy Funk; they shouldn’t have much problem catching people’s attention.
5/5
So yeah, I’m sure they’ve heard it a million times already and they will likely forever get it (unless their music drastically changes any time soon) but it was really unavoidable. Normally something that strikes me as over familiar promotes negative feelings, but not this time, there is just enough of Killaflaw unique finger prints here to create distinction, mainly via Benn Helm’s massively strong and frankly awesome vocal.
So at its root this a down and dirty dance track, touches of drum and bass and sprinkles of most other dance genres, but perhaps it’s biggest merit is the melody perfectly placed on top of the thumping bass, Killaflaw have achieve what a lot of drum and bass acts fail to do and have created a pop song around their dancefloor beat.
So clearly I’m a fan, but that’s not to say there isn’t slight niggles with the track, the production although solid lacks a touch of final polish for my liking, perhaps another pass on the mix is required to make it a touch more radio friendly (it’s certainly club friendly right now!). The sub bass also lacks the complete punch and more could be made of its assets but like I said, these are only minor niggles on a product that produces a fantastic vibe.
The time is now for Killaflaw, they sound relevant and with the resurgence of The Prodigy and rise of Pendulum they should certainly strike now and strike fast and with tracks like Holy Funk; they shouldn’t have much problem catching people’s attention.
5/5
The Blizzards - Buy It Sell It (single)
It’s one of these again, those darn middle of the road indie tracks that I somehow always accidentally pick up to review, not that I have anything against indie music in general it’s just that there’s just so much of it!
The Blizzards aren’t without merits and what I’ve picked up from the single ’Buy It Sell It’ they certainly have a little extra something to help them stand out from the crowd, although it’s more like popping your head up briefly from the crowd just so people can catch a glimpse.
So the good, Niall Bresin’s vocal and the harmonies in general are very lovely and all put together superbly, The middle 8 is packed with strength that really does a great job of driving home the last chorus and the whole rhythm is genuinely interesting and a little different from the standard affair, the artwork is also superb.
But something is missing, breaking it all down it seems to work perfectly and perhaps that’s the problem, it’s all constructed right, a little too right, almost like it’s had its soul sucked out of it and I’m sure that’s not how it started. Thinking about it a little further leads me to the conclusion that it’s simply over produced.
So a pleasant track that I’m sure will gain fans and it’s likely that The Blizzards will add to the success that they’ve already achieved, I’d just like to hear more edge to the production instead of the over the top safe approach.
3/5
The Blizzards aren’t without merits and what I’ve picked up from the single ’Buy It Sell It’ they certainly have a little extra something to help them stand out from the crowd, although it’s more like popping your head up briefly from the crowd just so people can catch a glimpse.
So the good, Niall Bresin’s vocal and the harmonies in general are very lovely and all put together superbly, The middle 8 is packed with strength that really does a great job of driving home the last chorus and the whole rhythm is genuinely interesting and a little different from the standard affair, the artwork is also superb.
But something is missing, breaking it all down it seems to work perfectly and perhaps that’s the problem, it’s all constructed right, a little too right, almost like it’s had its soul sucked out of it and I’m sure that’s not how it started. Thinking about it a little further leads me to the conclusion that it’s simply over produced.
So a pleasant track that I’m sure will gain fans and it’s likely that The Blizzards will add to the success that they’ve already achieved, I’d just like to hear more edge to the production instead of the over the top safe approach.
3/5
Monday, 6 July 2009
Wasters - FILM (Rotunda films)
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and if that applies, writer/director Luke Rufo is sure trying to flatter Kevin Smith (Clerks).
On paper that sentence reads far more negative than I’d like to imply, expanding on the statement or rather putting it another way would be to say that Clerks is worn proudly on ’Wasters’ English sleeve, the premise is familiar but it’s sensibilities are truly rooted in the Midlands which give a fresh approach, not to mention this is a good 15 years after Clerks, fresh for a whole new batch of “wasters” and enough to feel like a hearty salute (as opposed to a carbon copy) to the original “clerk”
At it’s bare essentials ’Wasters’ delivers a heart felt lover story intertwined with a buddy comedy, the character list is short but strongly developed, you know these characters, you’re likely to be one of these characters, or at worst know somebody who resembles their traits. Sometimes they can be slightly stereotypical and caricatured but it’s more a flaw attached to the side characters.
Sticking to pretty much one location is a brave move, you need the script to deliver, fortunately ’Wasters’ delivers albeit in an over the top brash and blatantly disgusting manner, you get what it said on the tin and trust me, I’m reflecting this as a positive. I wouldn’t be surprised if Luke Rufo had experienced many of these conversations in real life because they felt extremely natural for a mid twenties midlander and considering I fit that demographic, I have a right to validate it.
The films not perfect by any means, maybe a tad long for it’s style and some of the ADR needs fine tuning but considering the likely minimal budget (this is an independent film after all) they achieved great success, an extra note must be made to the four main characters who were beautifully cast and had extremely legitimate chemistry, Amelia Tyler was particular outstanding and at times, truly hate-able.
Recycled premise, limited budget and lacking a big studio polish but you know what? Wasters shines through that with all the heart and genuine passion that any big Hollywood blockbuster could provide.
4/5
On paper that sentence reads far more negative than I’d like to imply, expanding on the statement or rather putting it another way would be to say that Clerks is worn proudly on ’Wasters’ English sleeve, the premise is familiar but it’s sensibilities are truly rooted in the Midlands which give a fresh approach, not to mention this is a good 15 years after Clerks, fresh for a whole new batch of “wasters” and enough to feel like a hearty salute (as opposed to a carbon copy) to the original “clerk”
At it’s bare essentials ’Wasters’ delivers a heart felt lover story intertwined with a buddy comedy, the character list is short but strongly developed, you know these characters, you’re likely to be one of these characters, or at worst know somebody who resembles their traits. Sometimes they can be slightly stereotypical and caricatured but it’s more a flaw attached to the side characters.
Sticking to pretty much one location is a brave move, you need the script to deliver, fortunately ’Wasters’ delivers albeit in an over the top brash and blatantly disgusting manner, you get what it said on the tin and trust me, I’m reflecting this as a positive. I wouldn’t be surprised if Luke Rufo had experienced many of these conversations in real life because they felt extremely natural for a mid twenties midlander and considering I fit that demographic, I have a right to validate it.
The films not perfect by any means, maybe a tad long for it’s style and some of the ADR needs fine tuning but considering the likely minimal budget (this is an independent film after all) they achieved great success, an extra note must be made to the four main characters who were beautifully cast and had extremely legitimate chemistry, Amelia Tyler was particular outstanding and at times, truly hate-able.
Recycled premise, limited budget and lacking a big studio polish but you know what? Wasters shines through that with all the heart and genuine passion that any big Hollywood blockbuster could provide.
4/5
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